Remembrance note

I shall always remember days like this, the feeling of being drunk without drinking. I believe human's mins shut down itself and closes its door once total input stream surpasses mental capacity. Another night , another hectic day. I can't wait to finish all the assignments and exam for the coming two weeks. Summer is going to be fun....

For now, I am alive and I take it one day at a time. From time to time, it is ok to be not ok.

Definitely one of the worst days of my life

An annoying day since the beginning and so many obstacles and many things to be done. A very long day till now that I am at 509 on my way home....hope is what keeps us alive... 

Watchdog

196.8 - 10 March 2014

A gr8 nite, happy that she enjoyed it too.

This is not what it looks 

You show me a world where....

It starts again, we will remain the same and life finds a way to capture us.  That's the only way and there is no other way. It's time to deal with it differently...

Unloaded gun...

Looking at life through an unloaded gun...such a relaxing Friday evening.  

Passing by king street west, thinking about all the possibilities that one could miss by one wrong decision. Is it the dream that I had of life? Such a relief that this life can be lived once at a time... We would never try alternatives lives and as a result we learn to be happy with what we have got.

2013

2013 was a semi-good year. It challenged me both personally and professionally. It gave me most of the things I wanted while it completely closed the door to some of my important desires. I tried new things and got to love and hate things which I had no opinion about. However, all together, the main theme for this year was somehow ambiguous. As if I am looking at my life from the moon, or as if my life goes on with low dependency on my own will or even existence. I was player of a game that I was watching it from the first row too.  I sat in front row and saw my life going on and many times there were tears in my eyes both from victories and failures.

2014 should be happier year..... Looking forward to enjoying more moments in 2014...

Final day of a week-length coughing and sore throat

I get sick often, almost once or twice every winter. The credit goes to my immune system ;) it was a week of pain, nightmare, intemittent wake-up and of course coughing and running nose....

Whiskey helped but I think warm water,honey, white rum was a better remedy...not to mention the power of Chinese medicine :

Back to normal life , we have a house party tomorrow and a lot needs to be done. Lots of paintings also ;) 

On my way to home at 509 near Bathurst and fleet. 

Leo is Coming Today

Sitting in advanced analysis and system design and thinking about 4:30 pm today when our long- overdue HA2014 Leo is going to be delivered to us.  It's a busy time (school and work) but I will enjoy this one....

Third consecutive night

It has been dark and cold as arctic winter in my life. Committed to an obligation way above my ability. And this is my shaking voice....asking for mercy, love or understanding. Too tired to fight, I know that I love but my own existence is subject to debate, let alone defending my love....it makes me realize that I am tired, tired and so tired. Tired of everything that i have tried to feel less tired....it's ironic..but this is my life.

My fearless part....

There is a wild part in my imagination that I will never set free. It's limitless, open and harmful to my surrounding. A wild lion that needs to be tamed or to be kept in private before it causes a scene. I don't know whether this life has the capacity to reveal it or I should wait another life. After all, we all learn to be patient. I have passed the limit of tiredness and I should stop whining about being busy. I should either get involved and play or stay aside and call myself an "observer" .

Lost in the middle

Somewhere , in the middle of making a life and living one, I have lost myself and my sense of being alive.

Life and death....

"Man is literally split in two: he has an awareness of his own splendid uniqueness in that he sticks out of nature with a towering majesty, and yet he goes back into the ground a few feet in order blindly and dumbly to rot and disappear forever"

-Ernest Becker

Overwhelmed by tasks....

Again I am feeling the rush and I can see how things need to be done so quickly so I can handle them all together. A snapshot of what’s going in my head:

 

1)      Leo and Insurance and its related payments and tasks

2)      2 major deliverable for 4010 , each at least 25 pages! And preparing for presentation for each one them, this alone is a killer!

3)      Research Project on data mining for hydrological data, choosing the RAPIDminer and extending using advance clustering algorithms and prove the results and writing 25 pages of report on that, good luck !

4)  Two final exam coming up in Dec and I have to be ready for them.

5)      Super busy at work with major challenges such as SBC, Major release, SMS design

6)      SP: Some challenges related to voicemail on incoming call and call redirection and the fact that “Voicemail” Scenario  cannot be loaded!

 

 

I found this one on Internet, this is how I look like now...

Memory

At Utopia and we are getting nachoooos

Well,here are the details:

No beans,no jalopinos, well done on steak and crunchy ;) can't get any better 

on failure and success

Failure is not a state or it's not a status. Failure is a Boolean variable to asses  an event. As much as we like this logical value or logical outcome to be "Success" or "1" it may become "Fail" or "0". Interestingly, failure is a time-sensitive variable and it ends at a certain time. For example,  you may fail last night, two weeks ago or two years ago. The actual binding between a task and its value can be only understood when the time frame is unknown. You, you cannot be a failure or a task cannot hold its “fail” value indefinitely. Failure is part of the learning process and if we think about evolution, it's an obstacle that prevents "not the fittest" from moving forward. In case you decide to stop your progress due to this obstacle(s), you are paving the way for your extinction.

Fun time

Having so much fun

Bright sky in the night

Toronto has

a bright sky, I have always told myself such an amazing sky for a trance song in the background.

Listening to "let go" and trying to let go off anything that happened or is happening .,., the credit also goes to apple cider :) 

The odds are always against you....

You will never win, choosing to play is as far as you can go, the odds are designed to be against you. You may choose to loose or to try. To win? A silly assumption. Your problem solving skills never keep up with the problem making skills of this pre-defined game--This ruthless world. May be it's too late to change the game...  The creator betrayed the created ....

The odds are against us....

(11:31 pm at 509- after a longgggggg day)