195.7 lb but a good start on Monday 10 nov

Missing you in every possible way

Losing my appetite is not the only indication, I heart "Portland" in the streetcar announcements and god knows how many sparks came to my minds.

We , you and I are extremely intertwined.

Alone tonight

I was working till 10 pm tonight and I left the office after a day of continues work. Without any reason to be home, I decided to walk home! I listened to 'alone tonight' more than hundred times and I walked home. It's fascinating how one's life is affected by one's absence. I miss you in every conceivable way and in aspects that i did know that exists. 

No one, nothing , no single thing in this world can give me what I am missing and I will wait with a screaming silence in my heart till you come back. Walking alone till you join me .....

A long weekend to remember

It was along weekend after lots of work and lots of efforts, nevertheless, unlike others, I did not get a chance to treat myself and rest. Instead I studied really really hard for not one but two exams. Two exams on the same say....

After a devily night, I woke up at 9:00 , lost , tired and energylrss and started my exam study on thanksgiving Monday. Who should I complain to? IPs vas was and   2 courses......

Saturday

Sunday

Monday 5:30 am

Nice memories...

Power of music

A very very relaxing Sunday night 

Trance allstars

Amazing night @home ---trance allstars ....

Changing Android from 2.3 to 4.0!

A collection of good times

She got this one in her furtune cookie 

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Not sure what colour she liked so we bought all of them.

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Memories

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Friday night , a good one 

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Amazing smell.....

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One of the ...

Probably , one on the hardest day of my life.... I had it all.. IPs /Vas/ES and school and headache 

She is away....

She is in a cottage this weekend , I have already missed her around me. Going to swimming and then a nice action sci-fi 

Signed!

She called me and her voice was full of passion, hapiness and joy. This is her first reward for all hardwork she has done. She deserves it and she deserves even more... Knowing her for past 7 years and still amazed by her abilities and power of adoption. Way to go lovely girl...good luck and may the light of your heart brighten the way...

The quest continues

I was no aware tht SCHOOLS Should not operate after 10 and learned the lesson by harsh rejection. Regardless, my journey continues but at a lower peace. 

When it ends it starts again

On my way back home from ITEC4040 and easy lecture in NFR representation in UML diagrams. 11;48 pm at Bathurst and lakeshore . Of course in 509! So much passion and so much fun. We had a small lecture about iland and mosquitoes :) 

Back to the roots

It has been a while, I opened my !Trance playlist and narrowed it down to Inside, a masterpiece by Polly strange. It made sense after all, it's trance and it's my way of life.. I lt took me away with every bit and I found myself tranceformed. Tranceformed realities was coined.

Late summer nite..

I was looking at your face in a late summer nite and could see your shadow under the moon lite. I know u were looking at me too. I know we were partner in another life.hope u remember...

Relaxing Friday

After a week of extreme working , both of us, are enjoying are 

Drinking

2nd week in a row with extensive drinking experience. 1lt of rum and in cube club.

Our life

We have started doing everything we wanted to do! 

We went running and still was cold and I gotta watch it as I am now 195 lb. my goal is 16 pound.

So 179 I am on my way...

It starts again

Taking longest home, I remember this. Specially this one, it ended in a desperate effort for an exam and furthermore a desire for Canadian whiskey. 

On blue nite on my way to gamble, where I put up my life for gamble,...

Exam time

I have a final in 6 hours and my mind and soul is so tired that I can barely physically make it to the exam center....

Energy : less than 0

Mindset : very tired

Personal motivation : destroyed 

Result of exam? I would be surprised if anything good comes out of such ingridents...

Remembrance note

I shall always remember days like this, the feeling of being drunk without drinking. I believe human's mins shut down itself and closes its door once total input stream surpasses mental capacity. Another night , another hectic day. I can't wait to finish all the assignments and exam for the coming two weeks. Summer is going to be fun....

For now, I am alive and I take it one day at a time. From time to time, it is ok to be not ok.

Definitely one of the worst days of my life

An annoying day since the beginning and so many obstacles and many things to be done. A very long day till now that I am at 509 on my way home....hope is what keeps us alive... 

Watchdog

196.8 - 10 March 2014

A gr8 nite, happy that she enjoyed it too.

This is not what it looks 

You show me a world where....

It starts again, we will remain the same and life finds a way to capture us.  That's the only way and there is no other way. It's time to deal with it differently...

Unloaded gun...

Looking at life through an unloaded gun...such a relaxing Friday evening.  

Passing by king street west, thinking about all the possibilities that one could miss by one wrong decision. Is it the dream that I had of life? Such a relief that this life can be lived once at a time... We would never try alternatives lives and as a result we learn to be happy with what we have got.

2013

2013 was a semi-good year. It challenged me both personally and professionally. It gave me most of the things I wanted while it completely closed the door to some of my important desires. I tried new things and got to love and hate things which I had no opinion about. However, all together, the main theme for this year was somehow ambiguous. As if I am looking at my life from the moon, or as if my life goes on with low dependency on my own will or even existence. I was player of a game that I was watching it from the first row too.  I sat in front row and saw my life going on and many times there were tears in my eyes both from victories and failures.

2014 should be happier year..... Looking forward to enjoying more moments in 2014...

Final day of a week-length coughing and sore throat

I get sick often, almost once or twice every winter. The credit goes to my immune system ;) it was a week of pain, nightmare, intemittent wake-up and of course coughing and running nose....

Whiskey helped but I think warm water,honey, white rum was a better remedy...not to mention the power of Chinese medicine :

Back to normal life , we have a house party tomorrow and a lot needs to be done. Lots of paintings also ;) 

On my way to home at 509 near Bathurst and fleet. 

Leo is Coming Today

Sitting in advanced analysis and system design and thinking about 4:30 pm today when our long- overdue HA2014 Leo is going to be delivered to us.  It's a busy time (school and work) but I will enjoy this one....

Third consecutive night

It has been dark and cold as arctic winter in my life. Committed to an obligation way above my ability. And this is my shaking voice....asking for mercy, love or understanding. Too tired to fight, I know that I love but my own existence is subject to debate, let alone defending my love....it makes me realize that I am tired, tired and so tired. Tired of everything that i have tried to feel less tired....it's ironic..but this is my life.

My fearless part....

There is a wild part in my imagination that I will never set free. It's limitless, open and harmful to my surrounding. A wild lion that needs to be tamed or to be kept in private before it causes a scene. I don't know whether this life has the capacity to reveal it or I should wait another life. After all, we all learn to be patient. I have passed the limit of tiredness and I should stop whining about being busy. I should either get involved and play or stay aside and call myself an "observer" .

Lost in the middle

Somewhere , in the middle of making a life and living one, I have lost myself and my sense of being alive.

Life and death....

"Man is literally split in two: he has an awareness of his own splendid uniqueness in that he sticks out of nature with a towering majesty, and yet he goes back into the ground a few feet in order blindly and dumbly to rot and disappear forever"

-Ernest Becker

Overwhelmed by tasks....

Again I am feeling the rush and I can see how things need to be done so quickly so I can handle them all together. A snapshot of what’s going in my head:

 

1)      Leo and Insurance and its related payments and tasks

2)      2 major deliverable for 4010 , each at least 25 pages! And preparing for presentation for each one them, this alone is a killer!

3)      Research Project on data mining for hydrological data, choosing the RAPIDminer and extending using advance clustering algorithms and prove the results and writing 25 pages of report on that, good luck !

4)  Two final exam coming up in Dec and I have to be ready for them.

5)      Super busy at work with major challenges such as SBC, Major release, SMS design

6)      SP: Some challenges related to voicemail on incoming call and call redirection and the fact that “Voicemail” Scenario  cannot be loaded!

 

 

I found this one on Internet, this is how I look like now...

Memory

At Utopia and we are getting nachoooos

Well,here are the details:

No beans,no jalopinos, well done on steak and crunchy ;) can't get any better 

on failure and success

Failure is not a state or it's not a status. Failure is a Boolean variable to asses  an event. As much as we like this logical value or logical outcome to be "Success" or "1" it may become "Fail" or "0". Interestingly, failure is a time-sensitive variable and it ends at a certain time. For example,  you may fail last night, two weeks ago or two years ago. The actual binding between a task and its value can be only understood when the time frame is unknown. You, you cannot be a failure or a task cannot hold its “fail” value indefinitely. Failure is part of the learning process and if we think about evolution, it's an obstacle that prevents "not the fittest" from moving forward. In case you decide to stop your progress due to this obstacle(s), you are paving the way for your extinction.

Fun time

Having so much fun

Bright sky in the night

Toronto has

a bright sky, I have always told myself such an amazing sky for a trance song in the background.

Listening to "let go" and trying to let go off anything that happened or is happening .,., the credit also goes to apple cider :) 

The odds are always against you....

You will never win, choosing to play is as far as you can go, the odds are designed to be against you. You may choose to loose or to try. To win? A silly assumption. Your problem solving skills never keep up with the problem making skills of this pre-defined game--This ruthless world. May be it's too late to change the game...  The creator betrayed the created ....

The odds are against us....

(11:31 pm at 509- after a longgggggg day) 

 

Mining

Got time to focus on data mining and I really enjoyed it. I guess I need to run some clustering analysis on my own life.... ;) going home ...it will be a gr8 weekend ....

11:22 pm in 509 -left the house 7:30 am

Coming home after a very very long day at work followed by a longer lecture .4010 (system design II) . 

Trying....Again :)

Monday 16 Sept - 182.00 lb

Sick advertisement

Party till 3:30 am

Pizza works

Well everybody knows that pizza works but this one really does! Sitting in the patio waiting for a pickup on a nice relaxin Friday evening when we were young and In love. Got 94 in my 3210 course being happy, I mixed GIN, two different beers and the result was satisfying.... 

3210-preperation

Exam Time : 9:00 AM

 

 

 

Going to school 6:00 AM


Wake up time 5:00 AM


Study time... 10:00 AM


Study time... 3: PM

Watchdog....

This time, once for good, I promised to my Sa(lman+ra) and I will make it happen:

188.8  -->  15 July  (Monday)
183.8  -->  22 July  (Monday)
181.8  -->  29 July  (Monday)

At wheat sheaf ,under cloudy skies...

Lemon nite ;)))

Such days

Left home 7:00 and it is now 11:15 and not home yet.on 509 :) 

In case if I wonder later, credit goes to 3210 exam and Ransome malware....

Now thinking about mixing Cinnamon Whiskey with Classic Canadian.... 

Graduation with Distinction

Finally, the day that we have been waiting for came.
She is now a graduate with distinction.

Will never forget the feeling as she was walking on the stage and I heard her name.

Congrats and very proud of you.

What goes around comes around....

Let's say that I lose an item and losing it makes me upset or let's say losing it makes  me lass happy. The first thing I do is to see if I can find a way to deal with its absence but soon I realize that is not an option as missing it will comprise my happiness (you know that  I like to be happy for small things) .So I decide to get the same thing again. Now, in an effort to buy back the little-happiness that it brought for me, I start a series of enquiries to find and purchase the same item. I search online in a city with population of millions and after 3 days I find an identical item.  I agree on the purchase price and I buy back the same thing that I have lost! Not only the same model and color but also the same serial number!!!!!!!  Go figure the probability of such a thing in a city with millions of online transactions per day….Amazing but true story.

 

 

 

Applications for life

1. Radmin viewer /server
2. MYSQL
3. Navicat
4. RD-TAB
5. Office 2010
6. ITunes
7. Chrome
8. ACDsee
9. Thunderbird
10. Photoshop
11. WINRAR
12. 7-ZIP
13. WinAMP
14. Total commander
15. Fruity loops
16. VLC media player
17. Anti-virus
18. Winmerge
19. notepad++
20. VM player
21. wireshark
22. Skype
23. Tag&Rename 3.7: the best app for editing mp3 tags

Windows 8 vs windows 7

Such a crazy move from Microsoft! And i really like to know why? Why did u drop the ever-been-there "start menu". Where do I start?!  Been trying to make it look like 7, if it works like 7 i am going to keep you, otherwise ,I will dump you where Vista and Me were dumped.  

Sat Night

After a lot of Malt Whiskey (German Crystal), getting ready for Souvlaki Dinner@ Wheat Sheaf. OMG,She is so beautiful....

Nice night@ gamble

Such a week

Very busy week and a lot to learn/catchup . Finalizing the day :)

A Venti peppermint tea @ Starbucks

letting it go, putting it in words and saying it outloud

It's a great feeling when you finally let it out and you say it loud , to yourself, to your loved one and it feels much better when your significant other takes it in the right way.

It adds more light and it brings more happiness when your inner child can come out and find its playground.

My inner child, a happy child , is reminding me a nice saying:

Do not grow up, it's a trap.


2:15 Toronto, a great night in a winter-ified spring

Good Year

Not much to study these days and I have been spending more time at home which is a great thing. Not sure if I can predict it correctly, but things are getting to a nice shape. So far, so good.

Having said that, there are a lot to be done and there are many things that we are working on.

2013 seems to be a good year.

Happiness

Happiness can be so many things and can be achieved through several ways

Happiness can be having a coffee and a late breakfast with your love in Liberty village on a usual Saturday morning.

Happiness can be feeling great about what you have.

Happiness can be looking at your life partner and feeling that the rest of the road is worth going...

Happiness can be looking at the crowd through the Whiskey glass in your hand and feeling good about who you are and were you are.

Happiness can be achieved through many ways,but, waiting for others to bring it for you, for sure is not any of them.

Another night without u

Fleet was not happy 2nite.neither were I and Mishka....miss i in more than one way,more than the sum of all the possible ways... Good that will c u tomorrow....

At Niagra falls @ -20

But it's warm in Denny's

Back to back ....

5 mins ago in Riva working on a steak , now at Utopia waiting for a nacho....oh i forgot to mention 3 out of 8 is remaining....

8 per yaer

8 times per year agreed.....
More than 8 times will be considered cheating......Coco and Karma will testify on that....

Such a jerk...

Well I don't need to keep failing on this subject over and over again. I should have known better this time. Afterall, some people never change (even if they pretend). This time was my bad as I truested and I was betrayed. 

The worst part is that if someone is faking a commitment you rely on this commitment and block all your other options....

Such a shame....but wait, Karma is here......

Missing You......

Missing you second by second...
It's a quite Sunday the same as the quite Friday night.

Your perfume is still in the air....
the world without you is not a happy world. It's not a crowded world. Rather, as cold as Toronto's winter and as deadth as hope in hopeless's hearts.

Without you my love, my heart is a city without any light, no moon in the night, no sun in the day.


Nothing to explore, nothing to be excited about and nothing to enjoy. After all, we learned sharing is the best was of enjoying life.


a life without your touch...without your voice...without your smile..... is not worth living...

Miss u

Miss u so much, can't sleep, can't enjoy,can't breath , can't do anything. Letting u go is Million times harder than what i thought... You belong here and this is your life. Not mine .

Internet Speed

This is just for the record, I am at school and in "Communication Studies" lab and here is the Internet speed!!!

MARKUS SCHULZ FT. ANA DIAZ - Nothing Without Me

All I am
All I know
Is hanging by the thinnest thread

If you leave
If you go
I might as well be gone, be dead

I’m the bad
I’m the waterfall in your head
I’m the know it all
I will never leave you alone

Cause you know
You know we belong together
And we’re only strong together
You are nothing without me

If you run
You’ll be on the run forever
I will haunt your mind forever
You are nothing without me
Send "Nothing Without Me" Ringtone to your Cell

12-12-12 12:12:12

We should never forget this moment.

Good Part: We are in love.
Bad Part: The next time same thing happens (same two digitis for day, month, year and time), we will not be around (At least not in this body).

Unusual Monday

Thanks to york, no classes today. Therefore we are at 3 brewers and this was my drink after a pitcher for two.

Harbour walk

A night with a glass of single malt.....

Relax.

Have been thinking if things really get that bad that i can think of? May be not. Next time anger recepie : sa(lman+ra) , tania , 10 mins walk . Lets see.

Greatest news everrrrrrr

Congrats , finally after 10 years :)))))))

Annoying....

...Pretty annoying situation....

Some time you feel that you can't take it any more....
and you will be amazed how much capacity you have ....
and you will be surprised by how much you can ignore.....
and you will be impressed by how many problems you can handle...


Neuroscience is an annoying thing to deal with..............

At La Prep working on Cisco ZetaByte era

6:45 am, bold coffee and lots of things to do ;)