Voice messages......

readt it, it's funny!

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary
part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if
God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the
following

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options

Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners
right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will
answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to

God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then
enter his social security # followed by the pound sign. If you
receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.

For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the
numbers, 3:16.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other
planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today,
please hang up and call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please
contact your local pastor.

Thank you and have a heavenly day